After many long years of riding the range
Old Jake decided he needed a change.
So off to town he would promptly go
and visit his cousin a week or so.
There was greetings and chatting and sipping and snacks.
Recalling old times, with jokes and wisecracks.
The visit went on and the hours went by
And the sun began to get low in the sky.
Then Jake got the urge as everyone does,
So he asked Cousin Jack, where the outhouse wuz.
"It's indoor plumbing, we're city wise.
Just open that door and have a surprise."
Pretty soon old Jake came out with a grin,
"That's the biggest surprise, since I don't know when.
But when it gits full, it'll be a disgrace.
Do you jist move it over to a different place?"
"Of course you don't you fogie dude.
And pardon me for seeming rude.
You pull that chain and flush it down.
They've got these things all over town."
"A great invention, I'll admit,
So you come inside when you need to sit.
There's just one thing I don't like pard,
That porcelain rim is cold and hard."
"Let down that seat, is what you do.
It'll be more comfortable for you."
"Well thanks fer thim instructions, Jack.
I see I rode that thing bareback."